We had a very short honeymoon in Hermann, MO before returning to St. Louis and starting a week of doctor appointments. On Monday Michael was scheduled to have his port put in. Oh wait, not so fast! Scheduling conflict, the port is actually going in on Thursday. Grrrrr.
The doctor putting the port in... I'm so glad he is not a proctologist. He has fingers bigger than a summer sausage. He's 6'6" at least and eats very well. He and his staff tried their best to fix the error but it couldn't be done, so Thursday it is.
Later that day we met with the Chemo doctor and took a tour of the facility. Up until that point it wasn't real to me. Like talking about a vacation, you don't get excited until your bags are packed and you're on your way. Seeing the room with the recliners and IV poles brought it all home. My husband has cancer. It's not a joke or a mistake. This is really happening.
But the ladies of the cancer center were very warm and welcoming. The doc has been doing this for 38 years so I'll believe anything that comes out of that women's mouth. Well... ok, I probably won't because I don't trust people but I do feel he is in capable hands.
Tuesday they took a bone marrow sample. Yeah, they stuck a big needle through his bone and sucked some juice out. It wasn't as bad and we thought, but still, ew. I'm so glad that's over.
Today Michael had to go through a lung test. He blew into a tube. That's the description I got, don't blame me for being vague. Everything looked good. Thursday he gets the port. Friday they test his heart. We have one last weekend and them boom-shaka-laka, chemo on Monday. It's been both a slow and fast week for us. So much crap, so much waiting.
One nice thing is they gave us a lovely blanket. Volunteers make them for cancer patients. I like this idea. I saw they also had a basket with free hats. There were only two little hats in there, so I'm going to make some to donate. We will have a lot of time on Monday, so I plan on making them right in the center. On a loom I can spit them out one after another, boy;)
Michael says he feels like he's already beat this thing, all we have to do now is go through the motions. I love this man. He was broken and angry when we met. (Let's face it, so was I.) But we have healed each other and led each other to a better path. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. My life has led me to this place. I will be Michael's strength when he feels weak, his caretaker when he is sick, and his fighting spirit when he feels weary. He has done this for me.
I once thought love was dead, or something made up by Hollywood and Hallmark. But I know it's real. I see it in Michael's eyes when we wake up in the morning. I feel it when we hold hands. Love isn't the big gestures or romantic nights, it's in the tears I wipe from his eyes when he is upset. It is in the way he scrapes the ice off the car so my hands won't get cold. It's laughing in the grocery store, or discussing the tragedy of Firefly being canceled after only one season. There are thousands of ways we love each other every day and we don't have to try.
So I hope you are ready, Cancer. We are going to kick your ass.
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